Adoptation II


3D dog peeing on the rug
Let your eyes relax, let your eyes go out of focus according to Rambo
you will see a dog peeing on a tree on my rug, just in the middle.

Asael: what the fuck? Rambo come out I can see you under the bed…come on man… I am too old for this…

Rambo: ok ok relax man…rough rough day at work?

Asael: no rough day at home…why did you pee all over the rug?

Rambo: I don’t know man, I was so bored…I started looking at the rug…just blurring for a few hours when suddenly the rug becomes 3 dimensional and  I see a 3D dog peeing on the tree that’s on the rug, so you know the rule…I followed him and had to pee on every place he peed…its my house you know.

Asael: come on man, is this about your adoptation theory?

Rambo: what adoptation theory?

Asael: the mirror, remember?

Rambo: no

Asael: you mean to tell me you don‎’t remember anything from our fight this morning?

Rambo: what fight?

Asael: ok than forget it

Rambo: Asael am I adopted?

Asael: yes you are

Rambo: no man I am serious it’s not funny am I?

Asael: yes Rambo you are

Rambo: I need some air

Asael: come on let’s go out, but I am not cleaning after you today

Rambo: ok let’s go

Asael: wait I need to pee

Rambo: not on the rug that’s mine

Asael: ok I’ll pee in the toilet this time

So we go out and sit down on a bench on right in front of Rothschild 71, Asael is drinking coffee and I am eating a chocolate cake.

Asael: so 14 years ago, 1993 was the worst year of my life, and not only because that’s the year you were born…I was in the army when my father died

Rambo: are you crying man? Here take my handkerchief

Asael: thanks man, it’s full of chocolate but thanks

 Rambo: go on…

Asael: so during the ‘Shiva’ someone suggested we get a dog…she said it will make us happy…and I thought it’s a joke… your dear father just died 44 years old…here take a dog…no offence man but you understand

Rambo: yes

Asael: so I went back to my unit and all I could think of is killing myself, the army was depressing and humiliating and the burden the burden, I was a kid 19 years old…anyway on April 1, 1993 you were born I was born on April 5

Rambo: does that mean I am older than you?

Asael: no, I was born on 1974 a few decades before you…so while I was in the army, my mom got us a small brown dog.

Rambo: was he cute? where is he now?

Asael: it was you and you looked like a little brown piece of shit

Rambo: oh I take that as a compliment…but I still don’t understand why you guys adopted me? Where is my mom, where is my dad?

Asael: look its different with you dogs…I did meet your mom once and I think I saw your father once or twice wondering around…it’s not…it’s not personal…look…we never asked your mom for permission…but the family that adopted her could not take care of all you brownies…
 
Rambo: I don’t know what to say…should I say thank you? should I be angry? Give me a drag from the cigarette. Look I love you man….I had and have a great life…you are a true friend…although sometimes you pee in the house…cant you just pee at work or on a tree like a real man? By the way who is this guy with the white hair? Yosi is not your father?

Asael: no man, my mom remarried a few years after my father died

Rambo: I always thought it’s strange that he is so tall and you are so short…I couldn’t figure it out…

Asael: right

Rambo: but your mom is your mom right?

Asael: yes she is my mom – the one and only

Rambo: and your sisters?

Asael: they are my sisters

Rambo: even Noa?

Asael: even Noa

Rambo: and the cleaning lady? And the Gardner?

Asael: yes all of them…come on let’s go I am tired

Rambo: ok give me a hug man…I love you…

Asael: I love you Chewbacca

Rambo: by the way did you notice no one is commenting on my blog?

Asael: yes, I think I gave them a hard task to name at least 5 differences between you and Chewbacca…you guys are twins

Rambo: no man I think it’s because no one is reading the blog

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One Response to “Adoptation II”

  1. Noa Says:

    Rambo my brother,
    It’s all a lie!
    You are and will be my real true brother.
    Cleaning your pee from the rug makes me closer to you than ever.
    Your proud sister,
    Noa

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