Goodbye Fantasy – Hello Cocaine


Drama queen was standing outside of the bar talking on the phone, Fred and I were sitting upstairs, she was walking back and fourth, walking in circles trying to find herself I could see she was lost and was nowhere to be found.  

There were too many factors in her equation and I was not one of them, perhaps I was the answer, but tonight I wasn’t even a thought. She came upstairs, she got close to me so I could kiss her on the cheek, I gave her a long kiss, it seemed as though she was needing it, she didn’t say a word about the messages I left on her answering machine, I said call this number, there is a great job opportunity and you should call, the first message explained it all, but hang over I hang up, without remembering if I left the number or not, I called again, I apologized for being wasted and said that I was not sure if I left the number or not and just in case here it goes, and I gave her 10 numbers that she should press one after the other using a telephone. 

You cannot help people that do not want to help themselves, the other day we spoke about work, I promised to help, I gave her a contact and she was unable to call, not even call me back, which is fine, if she at least tried to move on with her life and get a decent job.  

And so we were drinking Fred and I, same old different day, after a few hours she came upstairs again, she looked like nothing, her hair was messy, she was pale, she was dramatic, she was lost and hysterical, this is what I heared: GUY, PRESSURE, DRUGS, so there is a guy, and he was pressuring her, and there were drugs, and she was getting advise from the manager, and he was trying to calm her down, and than there was this fat fuck, that came out of nowhere the scum of the earth, he took her by the hand, she went to the toilet with him, he looked like one of these people that comes out of the toilet, because he just came out of someone’s ass, in a real world, in a different time, she would have never walked with him to the toilet, but it was Tel-Aviv and it was 2007 and  he was holding her hand, and they went inside, Goodbye Fantasy – Hello Cocaine. 

They came out, she went down stairs, fat fuck was nowhere in sight, she came out of the bar with the manager, he was driving her home, at last I understood, it was very clear, she was not smart, she had no character, she had no life, she had no career, she had no love, she was doing drugs and she was doing drugs, and she was working at a bar, and she wanted out, and I was not going to try and save her – ENOUGH! 

Too many times in my life, I tried to help girls fight genetics, fears, childhood, tonight I say ENOUGH, no more blinded by the low life’s, no more beauty covered with lies, no more going down to find the one, either she climbs up, or I move up to the next level, ENOUGH I just don’t care, I just don’t care –  it’s just air, it’s just air, its just air, I just don’t care ENOUGH.

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4 Responses to “Goodbye Fantasy – Hello Cocaine”

  1. Jacob Says:

    You deserve much better!

  2. rachelly Says:

    And I know a better one…

  3. Briana Says:

    when she’s lost, you’re lost. that’s what caring is all about.
    can’t spend your life trying to save other people from their lost souls. you’ve made the best choice possible in that situation.
    moving on to bigger, better things.

  4. ramboblog Says:

    moving on, moving on, can’t go back no more, can”t go back!

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